Happy 2012! Or un-happy 2012 if you’re one of those wackos who thinks the world is going to end on December 21st of this year. And if THAT’S the case, you don’t have to worry. How do I know? I’ve been doing some digging.

For instance, They’re not the Mayans - they’re the Mayas. And yes, they still exist. I just read a story about a guy who interviewed a bunch of Maya elders. Basically, they all agree that even our best scholars cannot properly read their calendar. The Maya elders say that 12.21.2012 IS THE END OF THE WORLD as WE know it. You know, like that R.E.M. song. The Mayas say it’s the end of sun phase and on that date the sun will shift to phase 5 which means the end of materialism and the beginning of humanism. Another words; we (humans) are going to quit caring about money and care more about each other.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I would like to live to see that day AND be able to afford a new Mustang G.T. convertible. If you care enough about me, you’ll buy me one, right?

This past Saturday I sprained my ankle. It happened as I haphazardly put on my shoes to run out to my wife’s car to get something. I inverted it on my mother-in-law’s pebble walkway. I went down in pain, but thought nothing of it until about an hour later. It started to swell like a bad can of tuna. I couldn’t put any weight on it, so I took a handful of ibuprofen and then iced it. The next day I could put a little weight on it, but since it was Sunday I stayed seated with the swollen ankle elevated most of the day. By Monday morning It was about 80% better. Tuesday? Even better! My son had a doctor’s appointment at 2 on Tuesday, so we went to the downtown mall to get some lunch and goof off until then. Well,about an hour in to his visit it started to swell again to the point where I couldn’t put any weight on it. I did the ice, ibuprofen and elevation routine again and it seemed fine Wednesday until about 11:30am when it started to swell again! So, today (Thursday), I’m using a crutch and trying to stay off my feet in hopes that I can make it to our 3WV Christmas party tonight. I know that one is supposed to stay off their feet for a couple of days with a sprain this bad, but I have a 3 year old and a life. I’m wondering if it’ll ever heal…

Any suggestions?

No, I didn’t leave out the word “it” in the title! But I just read an article about the top websites of 2011 and was flabbergasted by all that I was missing. It seems there’s so many new ways to get music, answers and news on the web. I’m feeling so 2008. True, I’m not too far behind, but I wish I had the time to explore all of these great websites some more.

Enjoy!

http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/completelist/0,29569,2087815,00.html

Well, you’re here. So, here’s what I’ve been thinking about lately: Normal. I dare you to define it! What is “Normal” behavior? Show me a “Normal” family? It’s all of us right? (buzzer sfx)!

I don’t think there is such a thing. I think everybody has their quirks and secrets. We’re a species of individuals, and we all judge each other as normal or not normal. Do you think you’re normal? Do you judge others because they’re not like you? Do you think this whole world would be a better place if we all acted just like you? Think about it - a world full of people just like you. That’s not normal.

So, lets just get rid of the word, ‘Normal”. Maybe that way we can stop judging and live. Make the best of what you have. Not happy? Change it up! It’s still a free country unless you want to buy stuff. And who wouldn’t want to buy more stuff? That’s ‘Normal”, right?

Costumes are a huge part of the Halloween celebration, but did you ever consider the candy? Here’s a list of the most disgusting candy out there and where to get them…

Ten disgusting types of Halloween candy you can buy:
10. Scorpion Suckers. (candywarehouse.com)
9. Toxic Waste. (candywarehouse.com)
8. Skeleton PopsCandy. (stupid.com)
7. Eyes of Terror Gumballs. (candy-crate.stores.yahoo.net/rabloeyofteb1.html)
6. Gummy Snakes. (stupid.com)
5. Lick Your Wounds Candy Scabs. Shaped like a Band-Aid, and really sticks to your arm. (candywarehouse.com)
4. Cockroach Bites. Looks just like real cockroaches. (candywarehouse.com)
3. Dripping Boogers. You just strap on the plastic nose and the liquid candy drips out of the nostrils onto your tongue. (candywarehouse.com)
2. Ear Wax Candy. Comes with a custom q-tip type stick to eat it with. (candywarehouse.com)
1. Chocka Ca-Ca. Chocka Ca-Ca is a fudge candy that comes wrapped in a diaper, and is even shaped like liquid piled on top of liquid. It’s like eating poop right out of a diaper. (stupid.com)

I was just reading about how a Georgia town  has collected almost $4000.00 in fines from people wearing baggy pants. That’s right, THEY’VE OUTLAWED BAGGY PANTS! Really? Basically, they’re just frowning upon bad fashion taste, and as much as we can agree on what’s considered a fashion Faux pas, should we really fine people for it? Do I smell a hint of Communism here?

BTW: Why couldn’t this have happened back when I was a kid? They could’ve outlawed Leisure suits, denim dresses, rat tails and mullets!

With many brains focused on the 10^th anniversary of the 9-11 terrorist attacks on our soil. You’re hearing a lot of talk about patriotism. Personally I think patriotism is what’s tearing this country apart because with all the patriots living here we all have different interpretations on what it actually means..
When I think of America, I think of freedom. Back in 2001 terrorists may have taken down some buildings and many lives, but they haven’t taken our freedom. We have access to many tools to help us become whoever we want to be, explore any part of our country that we want and dream without borders. The events on 9-11 were devastating, but also a reminder that life is fleeting. If we each dedicate our time to making the most of our lives, while also doing the right thing (and trust me you know when you’re doing something wrong) not only will all of our lives in America be better, but so will the lives of everyone on this planet. If we support each other as much as we support our troops and those who‘ve died needlessly, we could, quite possibly, end terrorism.

I got a nice snapshot of our active 3WV listeners this morning when they were sharing where they were and what they were doing when the earthquake struck. Just go to http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Big-Greasy-Breakfast/91354732080 and read the comments. Good stuff!

I’m glad no one was hurt. In fact, I thought it was pretty cool to experience such a massive thing!

My son, Cletus, and I were at the North Garden Post Office when it happened. At first, I thought someone ran into the building. Then the post master said, “I think it’s an earthquake. Ya’ll stay put.”

Cletus asked, “What’s that, daddy?”

I told him, “It’s an earthquake. Pretty cool, huh?” And I just stood there holding his hand and grinned. Smiled at the wonder of it all for 35 seconds, or so.

Then what did I do when I got home? Turn on the TV? The radio? No. I logged on to Facebook to see how many others felt it, and read the posts form CBS 19 and NBC 29 and our sister station WINA.

So, what were you doing?

As I sit here in the production studio at the “Radio Ranch” dubbing a freshly produced commercial for all to hear, I can’t help but wonder if you pay any attention (at all) to the music that’s behind the words. We, who put these commercials together, do our best to find a music track (licensed only to our radio group, BTW) which fits the mood of the retailer or what the client is trying to convey. The only feedback we ever get is whether or not the client likes the commercial. But what about the music? We have a whole catalogue of it done by anonymous musicians and writers who get paid to go to some anonymous studio to lay down a couple of tracks. Sounds like a thankless job, but some of the tracks they come up with are brilliant! So here’s my shout out to the fine artists at Essential Radio and Megatrax. Great work, gurus of the :10, :30 and :60 second track!

I can still hum some of the memorable, anonymous tunes I’ve heard throughout my years of studying radio. Or is it just me? Am I that much of a geek? Are there other musically inclined people out there in “Listener Land” who notice these (what we in the biz call) beds? You can comment with something like, “I like the music that’s under :30 second commercial for the Keystone Light Camero thingy.” BTW: one of my personal faves!

I know it’s supposed to be “cherries”, but I much prefer a bowl of piping-hot steamed clams in front of me this time of year.

So, life is good for me. The show is going along well, the family is great and I love summer. Seems there are a lot of people who like to complain about the heat, but Highway just did a story about how July of 2011 was the 8th hottest July in recent years. Even if it were the hottest you wouldn’t hear me moan and groan about it. I attempt to savor every sweltering day. And you should too. 94% of people in the United states have air conditioning. So, it’s easy to cool off. And there’s always your favorite swimming spot too and most are free!

If you’re one of the complaining, sweaty sorts - there’s always fall, “Oh, gawd! What about these stoopid leaves I got rake?” Winter, “It’s s-s-s-s-so c-c-c-cold!” And Spring, “Ah-ah-ah-ah-CHOO! Damn this POLLEN!”

Hey, you can always move, but I wouldn’t want to lose a listener because of the weather…